I have actually gotten around to packing stuff. I am cleaning up in my room too. Of course most of the mess in my room was due to the lack of packing. It still needs some serious work though. Feh. I have gotten one of those online photo albums just incase my other website decides to be a pain in the ass. I want to put up the best pictures that I take on this insane venture of mine on this site but otherwise I will have to use the photo album compliments of http://www.picturetrail.com. Just type in sillyjessy and go to the england album. Feh. The photo album thing is a pain in the ass, I hope the other site doesn't go phht too often.
If you told me that you want me to send you a post card, send me an email with your address because i have probably lost it.
Monday, June 30, 2003
hee hee
Seen on a bumper sticker....
"English doesn't borrow words from other languages. It follows other languages into dark alleys, knocks them down and them goes through their pockets for loose grammer."
"English doesn't borrow words from other languages. It follows other languages into dark alleys, knocks them down and them goes through their pockets for loose grammer."
Randomness
Totally Random Guy is back! I finally checked my email and there it was. totally random email. It was very spiffy! Too tired, must sleep, will post tomorrow with all of the oxford related nonsense, promise. <-- Run on sentence.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Packing, yesterday, and Breakfast
There are never enough hours in the day. I have to pack at some point but I just can't bring myself to limit that which I will be able to use for six weeks. It is suddenly such a long time. I also don't want to pack too much because I don't want to have to haul it. I so hate packing. I also keep coming up with things that I think I need that I don't have and so I think I have gone shopping more in the last month than I have in the past three years.
Oh! because blogger was doing weird things yesterday I did not get to post the crazy jean quote of the day
Here it is.
Mom: What is that on the wall, a fly?
Me: Yeah, a horsefly.
Mom: Horsefly? That's a frickin' Clydesdale!
That was pretty much my day Yesterday.
This morning I realized that the way that i make my cereal is a prelude to the day that I will have. For example, I go up to the office for breakfast. I get out a bowl and some cereal. I look for the milk. It is sour. If I realize that it is sour before I pour it my day will only suck a little bit. If I pour the sour milk into the bowl before I pour the cereal in, the day will suck. If I pour sour milk over good cereal, my day will really suck. If, when I realize that the milk is sour, there is a non-sour container of milk, the day will be ok. But if I pour the non-sour milk into the bowl befor the cereal, the day will be really busy. If there is no other milk, I will have a crappy but passable day. In the rare event that I eat cereal and the milk is not sour, I will have a really great day. Today will be really busy.
Oh! because blogger was doing weird things yesterday I did not get to post the crazy jean quote of the day
Here it is.
Mom: What is that on the wall, a fly?
Me: Yeah, a horsefly.
Mom: Horsefly? That's a frickin' Clydesdale!
That was pretty much my day Yesterday.
This morning I realized that the way that i make my cereal is a prelude to the day that I will have. For example, I go up to the office for breakfast. I get out a bowl and some cereal. I look for the milk. It is sour. If I realize that it is sour before I pour it my day will only suck a little bit. If I pour the sour milk into the bowl before I pour the cereal in, the day will suck. If I pour sour milk over good cereal, my day will really suck. If, when I realize that the milk is sour, there is a non-sour container of milk, the day will be ok. But if I pour the non-sour milk into the bowl befor the cereal, the day will be really busy. If there is no other milk, I will have a crappy but passable day. In the rare event that I eat cereal and the milk is not sour, I will have a really great day. Today will be really busy.
Monday, June 23, 2003
I have been kinda busy the last few days with beaver day and Harry Potter day both on Saturday. I did not sleep at all on saturday night, I just read straight through and then finished up on sunday. It was just as wonderful as the others but I hate reading stuff like this because I know as I am reading that as soon as I get to page 870 I will be done and have to wait a Very long time until I get any more info. The problem with this is that in the interrum, I am making up various scenarios and directions for plot and so by the time I do get to read the next one I will have all of these silly theories that I want to test. I will not write them here just yet because I don't want to spoil the book for anyone who hasn't stayed up and read it all night. I will just say that I am angry that _____ is dead and that I understand how important it was for the plot but I am still angry. I also want to say that if I have to wait as long for the next one as I had to wait for this one I am going to have to get a posse together and go to scotland and help her write the damn book or at least bully her into telling me where she wants to go with it.
There. I feel better now.
In other news. Still no names for the babies--- oh wait. That isn't really news. Beaver day was fun. The wedding had about four inches of mud and my mom's car is still covered from roof to tires.
Last night we went to visit my father's cousins. It is hard to remember that the two really old ladies are his first cousins when their children (my second cousins) are his age. Their children are about my age (my first cousins once removed) but I am afraid that I wouldn't know them if I fell over them. They are going to ESU and I vaugely recall what they look like (kinda like my uncle Phil). It was pretty easy to tell that my dad's 1st cousin once removed was related becaus he looks just like uncle Phil too. Must be a Winters thing. It was a lot of fun because the younger of Dad's two cousins, Carol, and her husband are both into geneology and so are we so we had a lot of silly stories to swap. We also brought some Photos for Carol and Joyce to look at and see if they can label. Unfortunately they didn't know too many-- most of them it seems are from Gramma's side. We will have to ask Ruby (my gramma's friend who is at least ten years older than God) or Harry and Albena, my dad's Uncle and Aunt.
Still other news that isn't really-- I need to pack. Badly. And I don't want to. At All. Feh on packing.
There. I feel better now.
In other news. Still no names for the babies--- oh wait. That isn't really news. Beaver day was fun. The wedding had about four inches of mud and my mom's car is still covered from roof to tires.
Last night we went to visit my father's cousins. It is hard to remember that the two really old ladies are his first cousins when their children (my second cousins) are his age. Their children are about my age (my first cousins once removed) but I am afraid that I wouldn't know them if I fell over them. They are going to ESU and I vaugely recall what they look like (kinda like my uncle Phil). It was pretty easy to tell that my dad's 1st cousin once removed was related becaus he looks just like uncle Phil too. Must be a Winters thing. It was a lot of fun because the younger of Dad's two cousins, Carol, and her husband are both into geneology and so are we so we had a lot of silly stories to swap. We also brought some Photos for Carol and Joyce to look at and see if they can label. Unfortunately they didn't know too many-- most of them it seems are from Gramma's side. We will have to ask Ruby (my gramma's friend who is at least ten years older than God) or Harry and Albena, my dad's Uncle and Aunt.
Still other news that isn't really-- I need to pack. Badly. And I don't want to. At All. Feh on packing.
Saturday, June 21, 2003
CNN.com - New Jersey town admits defeat, adopts beavers as mascot - Jun. 20, 2003
our mayor and the town Mascot the Beaver!
Gotta love living in the sticks!
our mayor and the town Mascot the Beaver!
Gotta love living in the sticks!
Friday, June 20, 2003
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Crazy couple of days
Went shoppin with Mom today. Bought stuff, had really good lunch, farked a little, and worked on real stuff too. Feel better shannon! need to call alex and save her from her date.
Went shoppin with Mom today. Bought stuff, had really good lunch, farked a little, and worked on real stuff too. Feel better shannon! need to call alex and save her from her date.
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Rob's Amazing Poem Generator
this is great! Just type in a url and get a randomly generated poem based on the content of the page.
Mindnumbingly Silly an OUTDOOR tourist industry and
lives in a lot more of
Saints Mormons 41% 22. and
play a
college
student from
who do you think
just works too ashamed because she is
not enough, and discovered
that makes you everyone who trying not
ask me
out.there now Just goes on
this pain we
are you? had offered me
to bits by lies.
The people show, or
been broken, smashed
to live, should It is an act
It you seeThat no one
Because she asked for a little
while... I was I woke up
to save.
and it is different every time!
this is great! Just type in a url and get a randomly generated poem based on the content of the page.
Mindnumbingly Silly an OUTDOOR tourist industry and
lives in a lot more of
Saints Mormons 41% 22. and
play a
college
student from
who do you think
just works too ashamed because she is
not enough, and discovered
that makes you everyone who trying not
ask me
out.there now Just goes on
this pain we
are you? had offered me
to bits by lies.
The people show, or
been broken, smashed
to live, should It is an act
It you seeThat no one
Because she asked for a little
while... I was I woke up
to save.
and it is different every time!
Shopping!
Yesterday I went shopping with my brother's girlfriend, Mary Kate. I spent too much money and discovered that we have much the same taste in stuff. Weird. Also I want to know why the world does not make work boots in a boys size six. It isn't fair! You can find workboots in little boys sizes and mens sizes but not in a size six. It isn't fair. The women's workboots are all ugly, expensive, and not waterproof. Feh! I did find one pair of workboots at walmart for cheap but not steel toe. At least they are waterproof. Feh!
Yesterday I went shopping with my brother's girlfriend, Mary Kate. I spent too much money and discovered that we have much the same taste in stuff. Weird. Also I want to know why the world does not make work boots in a boys size six. It isn't fair! You can find workboots in little boys sizes and mens sizes but not in a size six. It isn't fair. The women's workboots are all ugly, expensive, and not waterproof. Feh! I did find one pair of workboots at walmart for cheap but not steel toe. At least they are waterproof. Feh!
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
Belief o matic
I stole this from Mizzy. I am not sure if I should be surprised or not.
The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.
Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (95%)
3. Neo-Pagan (90%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (88%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (88%)
6. Reform Judaism (88%)
7. New Age (79%)
8. Theravada Buddhism (74%)
9. Orthodox Quaker (69%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (68%)
11. Secular Humanism (67%)
12. Orthodox Judaism (61%)
13. New Thought (58%)
14. Jainism (58%)
15. Sikhism (58%)
16. Islam (54%)
17. Hinduism (53%)
18. Scientology (53%)
19. Taoism (52%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
22. Nontheist (40%)
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (40%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (35%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (34%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (27%)
27. Roman Catholic (27%)
how do you rate?
I stole this from Mizzy. I am not sure if I should be surprised or not.
The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.
Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (95%)
3. Neo-Pagan (90%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (88%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (88%)
6. Reform Judaism (88%)
7. New Age (79%)
8. Theravada Buddhism (74%)
9. Orthodox Quaker (69%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (68%)
11. Secular Humanism (67%)
12. Orthodox Judaism (61%)
13. New Thought (58%)
14. Jainism (58%)
15. Sikhism (58%)
16. Islam (54%)
17. Hinduism (53%)
18. Scientology (53%)
19. Taoism (52%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
22. Nontheist (40%)
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (40%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (35%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (34%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (27%)
27. Roman Catholic (27%)
how do you rate?
I have told Shannon that she needs to name the newest fawn since it shares her birthday. At the diner tonight, thought about calling the other two Castor and Pollux (sp?) after the Gemini twins since they are twins and also Gemini (along with all of the other deer except Zip who is a pisces(sp) on the cusp.
In other news, I keep forgetting to post a link to Fark. There, now I have done it. I feel better now.
In other news, I keep forgetting to post a link to Fark. There, now I have done it. I feel better now.
Monday, June 16, 2003
Alright so here is what I've been doing lately. Saturday night I was gaming with Shannon and her brother, Brian. Much fun was had by all and Jessy was surprised at how much fun it was to mess with people's heads. I met lots of interesting people who do interesting things and play a somewhat irritating game with their fingers. I have gotten a bit better at it. That sounds really wrong... guess you had to be there. feh. Oh and I also learned that masking tape and a pen can amuse someone all night. I got home at about quarter to seven on sunday morning and sat down for a few minutes. I woke up several hours later with a very stiff neck from sleeping sitting up. My parents didn't even realize I was home yet... shows you how observant THEY are. I had a blast at the game. Sunday was not as much fun but the campers went home and I went to dinner and then to sleep. The dog is now sniffleing the dress I wore to the game... I think she is pissed at me.
ooohhh almost forgot! There are now three fawn in the pen. Daisy picked one of the first really nice days to have her fawn. She is much thinner now and she has a shaky-legged but rather large newborn toddling after her now. One of my girls jumped the fence on Saturday when I was gone. She followed Dad back into the pen though, so all is well. I think it was Sophie because she seemed very appologetic today when I was counting deer. So now we really need names. The twins are very different looking. One is very adventurous and dark and the other is really pale and sortof shy. Spawn of Daisy is kindof a normal fawn color and too young to tell what sort of personality (s)he has. I think that the twins are probably male because the don't have the dark spots on their heads that doe fawn usually have. Feh. I am so completely at a loss as to what to call them. Feh.
Help me out here!
ooohhh almost forgot! There are now three fawn in the pen. Daisy picked one of the first really nice days to have her fawn. She is much thinner now and she has a shaky-legged but rather large newborn toddling after her now. One of my girls jumped the fence on Saturday when I was gone. She followed Dad back into the pen though, so all is well. I think it was Sophie because she seemed very appologetic today when I was counting deer. So now we really need names. The twins are very different looking. One is very adventurous and dark and the other is really pale and sortof shy. Spawn of Daisy is kindof a normal fawn color and too young to tell what sort of personality (s)he has. I think that the twins are probably male because the don't have the dark spots on their heads that doe fawn usually have. Feh. I am so completely at a loss as to what to call them. Feh.
Help me out here!
Saturday, June 14, 2003
Friday, June 13, 2003
I am not sure i took this quiz right. Try it out though, it is fun!
How much of a pottymouth are you?
How much of a pottymouth are you?
I love you Alex!
Last night I fell asleep in my spifftaculous new papasan chair compliments of Alex. I love it and I love sleeping in it and I just hope that there is room in my room in the New Dorm to put it!
Why is it RAINING
I (and everyone else in the NJ, PA, NY area) am sick and tired of this rain. It has rained or been yucky every weekend since NOVEMBER! You think I am joking. I assure you I am not. I work in the tourist industry and not just the tourist industry but an OUTDOOR tourist destination. We are still renting campsites but the people don't show, or if they do they go to the mall or the movies or someplace indoors and don't spend any money here! Because of our no-refund-for-rain-you-idiot-give-us-your-money policy our site sales are comparable to last year. Everything else sucks. The Lakota Wolf preserve is seriously hurting and would be hurting more if it wasn't for the hundreds of school kids that come to the Preserve every week. Even 100 school kids with fives and tens three times a week haven't really helped the Gift Shop sales.
Bah on the Rain! Bah Bah Bah! Go rain somewhere else. At least for a little while... I don't want a repeat of the last few summers where we would have killed for a few steady days of rain. Faaaaa! I hate weather!
Last night I fell asleep in my spifftaculous new papasan chair compliments of Alex. I love it and I love sleeping in it and I just hope that there is room in my room in the New Dorm to put it!
Why is it RAINING
I (and everyone else in the NJ, PA, NY area) am sick and tired of this rain. It has rained or been yucky every weekend since NOVEMBER! You think I am joking. I assure you I am not. I work in the tourist industry and not just the tourist industry but an OUTDOOR tourist destination. We are still renting campsites but the people don't show, or if they do they go to the mall or the movies or someplace indoors and don't spend any money here! Because of our no-refund-for-rain-you-idiot-give-us-your-money policy our site sales are comparable to last year. Everything else sucks. The Lakota Wolf preserve is seriously hurting and would be hurting more if it wasn't for the hundreds of school kids that come to the Preserve every week. Even 100 school kids with fives and tens three times a week haven't really helped the Gift Shop sales.
Bah on the Rain! Bah Bah Bah! Go rain somewhere else. At least for a little while... I don't want a repeat of the last few summers where we would have killed for a few steady days of rain. Faaaaa! I hate weather!
Thursday, June 12, 2003
Of all bad days...
Yesterday was a bad day. I am better today. Life is no longer overwhelming, but for those of you who tried to talk to me yesterday, this is what I was feeling. I wrote this out after a friend that I didn't know I had offered me some help. Thank you, everyone who tried to make it better even when you didn't know what it was.
I was too ashamed because I didn't know WHY.
And They wouldn't understand-- how could They know why?
So I hid the Secrets in a box lined with leaden secret tears
and dug a deep dark hole to hide my Trouble in.
and when the hole was deep enough and dark enough to swallow up a star,
I dropped the secret box inside and tried to hear it fall away.
But I leaned in Just a little too close and slid in down the wall.
I'd dug my hole too well, it seems, and now I'm stuck inside
the walls are far too steep and slick for me to climb my way outside.
Alone in the dark with secrets and most of me still outside.
She won't come back to help me. She doesn't know We're here
because I kept my dearest secret just a little bit too dear.
She doesn't know I dug the hole. She's never seen the box. She just goes on living without knowing part of us is lost.
I sit alone in darkness, lonely and afraid. So lonely that I peek inside the lead lined box I've made.
But when I open up the lid I learn, much to my dismay, that my dark secret has grown wings and quickly flown away.
What shoud I do? Where should I go? I'm stuck here in this hole.
And she out there is unsuspecting -- trying not to know.
I try to call it back and tempt it with new friends, but that dark secret turned and laughed
and flapped it's way along. It went right up to Them and sang its little song.
And They went up to Her and blamed her for it all.
But no one sees me sitting here inside my dark deep hole.
No one sees me wishing for the chances that time stole.
No one saw me hiding here and crying out my heart.
No one sees me now and it is all my fault.
No one saw me til today when she put out a line, and not knowing we were different, He thought that it was mine.
At first I tried to snub it -- I deserved to get my due, but then he mentioned others like YOU and YOU and YOU
Who were in this hole here with me because I had put You all there. He told me he could pull me out if I'd give him my hand
But I don't know why he should after what I've done to Him.
I don't know why you all stay here inside my deep dark hole. I don't know why you'd throw your line when the hole I'm in is mine.
It's me who lied to everyone, It's me who isn't good. It's me who can't control Herself and me who won't do as I should.
It is my fault -- don't you understand? It's my own fault I'm in this hole and I have to get me out.
It is my fault that you don't know who I really am and my fault that i can't tell you.
It is my fault that I don't know why I suddenly can't do it. It's me who doesn't want to and It's me who just can't do it and It is me who hurts and screams when You all say I can.
Why do you believe in me? How is it you can't see
That no matter what I do or say that makes you think I'm real--It's just an act!
It is just an act to make you think that I can think and feel
It is all just pantomime, just going through the motions to make you all believe that I would never let you down.
How you see me's what's important, not who I really am.
You're all the important ones that must stay safe from who I am.
That's why I build Illusions. That's why the masquerade. that's why i don't say a thing,
Without thinking what you'd say.
So thank you for your caring, but I'm not who you're trying to save.
All you know is the illusion and there nothing left of that to save.
The projector has been broken, smashed to bits by tiny wings.
The screen was made of secrets that have been burned away by lies. The illusion is all gone now.
Just me inside this hole, and Her, sitting in a corner- pretending it's not real,
half believing it will go away, that this isn't pain we feel.
It's my fault that she is like this. My fault she doesn't know what's real and what's illusion;
What we do and do not feel. It's my fault the Good one ran away; my fault we're in this mess.
I toldher she should try to live, should give herself a rest.
I said that she just works too hard. I told her to relax. I didn't expect her to just leave
Leave us to do the work that she had always done. I was just waiting for her to come back home
when she had had her fun. But she never did and that is why I didn't do it all.
It isn't that I couldn't, I just didn't and that's all. I didn't know she did so much; I didn't know we could.
I didn't have the heart to ask her to help me too. So I left her to her pretty games and lovely, silly books,
But she asked for a lot more time and a lot more time she took.
I didn't have the heart to tell her even that She'd left, and so she didn't realize it till all my secrets left.
Then she broke down and talked to Him and now I'm all that's left. Just me the quiet sneaky one,
Because the Smart one left, and the Pretty one just rocks and rocks and pretends we've never wept.
It's only me who's left in here and I'm not the one who cares!
I'm not the one who laid the paths. I don't know how to care! I don't know how to do her job! I don't know how to laugh!
I don't know how to live our life all by myself like this.
So if she and she can't help me and I can't do it alone, I suppose I'll have to do what He told me on the phone.
I'll have to ask you all for help and I have to do it soon, Before She comes back home and sees what I have done.
Before she wakes from her pretty dreams and sees what I have done. I will do it right this time, for Them and for my Self.
Yesterday was a bad day. I am better today. Life is no longer overwhelming, but for those of you who tried to talk to me yesterday, this is what I was feeling. I wrote this out after a friend that I didn't know I had offered me some help. Thank you, everyone who tried to make it better even when you didn't know what it was.
I was too ashamed because I didn't know WHY.
And They wouldn't understand-- how could They know why?
So I hid the Secrets in a box lined with leaden secret tears
and dug a deep dark hole to hide my Trouble in.
and when the hole was deep enough and dark enough to swallow up a star,
I dropped the secret box inside and tried to hear it fall away.
But I leaned in Just a little too close and slid in down the wall.
I'd dug my hole too well, it seems, and now I'm stuck inside
the walls are far too steep and slick for me to climb my way outside.
Alone in the dark with secrets and most of me still outside.
She won't come back to help me. She doesn't know We're here
because I kept my dearest secret just a little bit too dear.
She doesn't know I dug the hole. She's never seen the box. She just goes on living without knowing part of us is lost.
I sit alone in darkness, lonely and afraid. So lonely that I peek inside the lead lined box I've made.
But when I open up the lid I learn, much to my dismay, that my dark secret has grown wings and quickly flown away.
What shoud I do? Where should I go? I'm stuck here in this hole.
And she out there is unsuspecting -- trying not to know.
I try to call it back and tempt it with new friends, but that dark secret turned and laughed
and flapped it's way along. It went right up to Them and sang its little song.
And They went up to Her and blamed her for it all.
But no one sees me sitting here inside my dark deep hole.
No one sees me wishing for the chances that time stole.
No one saw me hiding here and crying out my heart.
No one sees me now and it is all my fault.
No one saw me til today when she put out a line, and not knowing we were different, He thought that it was mine.
At first I tried to snub it -- I deserved to get my due, but then he mentioned others like YOU and YOU and YOU
Who were in this hole here with me because I had put You all there. He told me he could pull me out if I'd give him my hand
But I don't know why he should after what I've done to Him.
I don't know why you all stay here inside my deep dark hole. I don't know why you'd throw your line when the hole I'm in is mine.
It's me who lied to everyone, It's me who isn't good. It's me who can't control Herself and me who won't do as I should.
It is my fault -- don't you understand? It's my own fault I'm in this hole and I have to get me out.
It is my fault that you don't know who I really am and my fault that i can't tell you.
It is my fault that I don't know why I suddenly can't do it. It's me who doesn't want to and It's me who just can't do it and It is me who hurts and screams when You all say I can.
Why do you believe in me? How is it you can't see
That no matter what I do or say that makes you think I'm real--It's just an act!
It is just an act to make you think that I can think and feel
It is all just pantomime, just going through the motions to make you all believe that I would never let you down.
How you see me's what's important, not who I really am.
You're all the important ones that must stay safe from who I am.
That's why I build Illusions. That's why the masquerade. that's why i don't say a thing,
Without thinking what you'd say.
So thank you for your caring, but I'm not who you're trying to save.
All you know is the illusion and there nothing left of that to save.
The projector has been broken, smashed to bits by tiny wings.
The screen was made of secrets that have been burned away by lies. The illusion is all gone now.
Just me inside this hole, and Her, sitting in a corner- pretending it's not real,
half believing it will go away, that this isn't pain we feel.
It's my fault that she is like this. My fault she doesn't know what's real and what's illusion;
What we do and do not feel. It's my fault the Good one ran away; my fault we're in this mess.
I toldher she should try to live, should give herself a rest.
I said that she just works too hard. I told her to relax. I didn't expect her to just leave
Leave us to do the work that she had always done. I was just waiting for her to come back home
when she had had her fun. But she never did and that is why I didn't do it all.
It isn't that I couldn't, I just didn't and that's all. I didn't know she did so much; I didn't know we could.
I didn't have the heart to ask her to help me too. So I left her to her pretty games and lovely, silly books,
But she asked for a lot more time and a lot more time she took.
I didn't have the heart to tell her even that She'd left, and so she didn't realize it till all my secrets left.
Then she broke down and talked to Him and now I'm all that's left. Just me the quiet sneaky one,
Because the Smart one left, and the Pretty one just rocks and rocks and pretends we've never wept.
It's only me who's left in here and I'm not the one who cares!
I'm not the one who laid the paths. I don't know how to care! I don't know how to do her job! I don't know how to laugh!
I don't know how to live our life all by myself like this.
So if she and she can't help me and I can't do it alone, I suppose I'll have to do what He told me on the phone.
I'll have to ask you all for help and I have to do it soon, Before She comes back home and sees what I have done.
Before she wakes from her pretty dreams and sees what I have done. I will do it right this time, for Them and for my Self.
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
I wonder if Shannon has seen this quiz? I ended up with Utena but I am not sure that is right.
Which Utena girl are you? - Quizilla
Which Utena girl are you? - Quizilla
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
Spent the last half hour editing Mizzy's website. It was lots of fun... It was scary that it was fun... I must really miss tutoring... I am such a dork. Halfway through it i remembered that today was my birthday and I should be doing something fun and then the other dorkier half of my brain whined "but this IS fun..." under its nonexistant breath. Farn! I am such a dork! But I am bad at it because I don't really know what i am doing as a dork... I am a wannabe dork... that may even be more pathetic... The dog is looking at me funny... I think she pities me.
oh that reminds me! I did upload those pics from my spifftaculous new camera! Here they are... or at least a few of them. I didn't have time to take too many pictures and a shockingly large number of them sucked. Well anyway they are the important things, my dog and my car. Oh, there is a picture of me on there too; I look annoyed and condescending -- prettymuch normal then I guess. Alex will be here to pick me up for crazy surprise present in fifteen minutes... wonder if I have enough time to get a few pics of the deer...
oh that reminds me! I did upload those pics from my spifftaculous new camera! Here they are... or at least a few of them. I didn't have time to take too many pictures and a shockingly large number of them sucked. Well anyway they are the important things, my dog and my car. Oh, there is a picture of me on there too; I look annoyed and condescending -- prettymuch normal then I guess. Alex will be here to pick me up for crazy surprise present in fifteen minutes... wonder if I have enough time to get a few pics of the deer...
DORK TOWER
You must check this out... I snagged it from Wil Wheaton's site. Hehehehehe silly people. Scary that i am becoming one of them...
You must check this out... I snagged it from Wil Wheaton's site. Hehehehehe silly people. Scary that i am becoming one of them...
Sunday, June 08, 2003
Saturday, June 07, 2003
Today was more of that soggy camperness. At least it has stopped raining now! Martha's twins are in the girl's old box where it is warm and dry and Daisy looks like she is going to wait for better weather to have her fawn. The rest of the deer are soggy but happy.
Now the reason for this particular segment of Jessy's insanity: Alex asked me to post some of the better science fiction authors I have read lately. Now, I generally don't read much in the way of hard core sci fi. I read mostly fantasy novels, or at least borderline fantasy sci fi. But Alex asked so here is what I have read lately in the way of sci fi.
Spider Robinson- Lots of fun, humorous but definitely has a message he wants to get out. I have read the Callahan books and the Stardancer books DeathKiller and more recently The Free Lunch which was really good. His books are not set all that far in the future and some of them have been reprinted after they were supposed to have already happened but they are still a good read.
Douglass Adams- Classic crazy Brittishness. I adore the Hitchhiker's Trilogy and his other books are just as much fun.
Issac Asimov- More classic Sci Fi. I just really like his style.
Mercedes Lackey- She is not strictly sci fi but she should be included on any list of my fav authors because I own every book she has ever written. She has done some sci fi though and I liked it almost as much as her other books. The Werehunter anthology has several really cool sci fi short stories.
C.J. Cherryh is also really good. I have three of her books and I have enjoyed all three.
Robert Aspirin's MYTH novels are borderline sci fi but they are really good and a lot of fun to read.
Well that is all that i can see from here and I dont want to tear my bookshelves apart just now. They are not the most organized of shelves since I have about twice as many books as I have room for on them and I have two or three more boxes that haven't even been put out. This will have to do.
If you want to count Marvel novels, I could add a whole bunch more but I don't think that is what she wants.
Now the reason for this particular segment of Jessy's insanity: Alex asked me to post some of the better science fiction authors I have read lately. Now, I generally don't read much in the way of hard core sci fi. I read mostly fantasy novels, or at least borderline fantasy sci fi. But Alex asked so here is what I have read lately in the way of sci fi.
Spider Robinson- Lots of fun, humorous but definitely has a message he wants to get out. I have read the Callahan books and the Stardancer books DeathKiller and more recently The Free Lunch which was really good. His books are not set all that far in the future and some of them have been reprinted after they were supposed to have already happened but they are still a good read.
Douglass Adams- Classic crazy Brittishness. I adore the Hitchhiker's Trilogy and his other books are just as much fun.
Issac Asimov- More classic Sci Fi. I just really like his style.
Mercedes Lackey- She is not strictly sci fi but she should be included on any list of my fav authors because I own every book she has ever written. She has done some sci fi though and I liked it almost as much as her other books. The Werehunter anthology has several really cool sci fi short stories.
C.J. Cherryh is also really good. I have three of her books and I have enjoyed all three.
Robert Aspirin's MYTH novels are borderline sci fi but they are really good and a lot of fun to read.
Well that is all that i can see from here and I dont want to tear my bookshelves apart just now. They are not the most organized of shelves since I have about twice as many books as I have room for on them and I have two or three more boxes that haven't even been put out. This will have to do.
If you want to count Marvel novels, I could add a whole bunch more but I don't think that is what she wants.
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Alex is Blogging!
I have infected someone! It feels so good to be the infecter instead of the infectee!
My odd ramblings
I have infected someone! It feels so good to be the infecter instead of the infectee!
My odd ramblings
Found this fun blog
I found this fun blog kind of randomly while doing stuff. It is kind of neat and definitely different.
Pooing in the Woods
I found this fun blog kind of randomly while doing stuff. It is kind of neat and definitely different.
Pooing in the Woods
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
Hee Hee
I feel much better now! Yesterday I did much sleeping cleaning and watching Utena. Last night I went to Shannon's to return her DVDs and watch some more and I ended up finishing the series there at about 3am :D Happy Jessy! She was kind enough to let me crash on her so comfy couch too. I just got home ( with the movie in tow hee hee thanks Shannon! :) and now am on my way to work. Jessy is very very happy, if a little confused and angry at certain chars in Utena.
Oh and Martha did have twins! I have no idea where she was keeping the other one all this while but they were together the other day when I went over to visit. Daisy still looks like she swallowed two or three watermelons. Bah! What am I going to name all of these Babies!?!
I feel much better now! Yesterday I did much sleeping cleaning and watching Utena. Last night I went to Shannon's to return her DVDs and watch some more and I ended up finishing the series there at about 3am :D Happy Jessy! She was kind enough to let me crash on her so comfy couch too. I just got home ( with the movie in tow hee hee thanks Shannon! :) and now am on my way to work. Jessy is very very happy, if a little confused and angry at certain chars in Utena.
Oh and Martha did have twins! I have no idea where she was keeping the other one all this while but they were together the other day when I went over to visit. Daisy still looks like she swallowed two or three watermelons. Bah! What am I going to name all of these Babies!?!
Sunday, June 01, 2003
Still Sick
I don't feel any worse but I am not much better. Much honey with tea (not to be confused with tea with honey) helped. I have rewatched much of the Shiny Utena fun that Shannon has loaned me. It makes both more and less sense the second time around. By that confusion I mean that more things make sense and I caught more foreshadowing and detail but the questions that arose as I watched the last few episodes just apply to the rest of them now and are reenforced. Moooo! She turns into a Cow!
Daisy still hasn't had her fawn. Martha's baby was missing for a bit and then we spotted (no pun intended) it in the wooden box shelter that I used last summer for my fawn. She is definitely a domesticated doe. A wild one would never have put her fawn in such a small isolated and escape free spot. She is smart though and her baby is out of the rain. She is a good momma, if a bit unconventional. I dote on these critters a bit too much I think...
I don't feel any worse but I am not much better. Much honey with tea (not to be confused with tea with honey) helped. I have rewatched much of the Shiny Utena fun that Shannon has loaned me. It makes both more and less sense the second time around. By that confusion I mean that more things make sense and I caught more foreshadowing and detail but the questions that arose as I watched the last few episodes just apply to the rest of them now and are reenforced. Moooo! She turns into a Cow!
Daisy still hasn't had her fawn. Martha's baby was missing for a bit and then we spotted (no pun intended) it in the wooden box shelter that I used last summer for my fawn. She is definitely a domesticated doe. A wild one would never have put her fawn in such a small isolated and escape free spot. She is smart though and her baby is out of the rain. She is a good momma, if a bit unconventional. I dote on these critters a bit too much I think...
The rain has stopped, the campers have gone home, I am feeling better for some day quill, and the day is not so bad. Mary Kate and I are planning some serious shopping for stuff and things. There has been no sign of Ghost Man who said that he would be around this weekend. He said he wanted me to meet his girlfriend Sharon (whom he said was a lot like me). He also wanted to set me up with someone I am not sure I should even talk to so there you go for that. He still doesn't really understand my position on dating and he makes up approximately forty percent of the total dating time in my whole life. Eh! I guess most people really just don't understand that I am Really Not Interested in boys or girls or both. Oh well.
Wonderful day
It is just a beautiful day. Rainy windy and now I am sick! My father shared his cold with me so now I feel just as miserable as the weather. Bah! Ah well, this too shall pass.
In other news, Martha's fawn looks very happy and healthy even in this weather. Yesterday (s)he was lying with her mother who stood up as I approached. The fawn took this as an invitation for lunch and (very forcefully) began nursing. (S)he is doing fine. Daisy is still extremely pregnant, I just hope that she did not choose last night to have her babies because the cold rain is not good for a newborn fawn. She has lost fawn to rain before. She looks VERY pregnant though, I wonder if she will have twins. Maybe. I still need to think of names for them though.
It is just a beautiful day. Rainy windy and now I am sick! My father shared his cold with me so now I feel just as miserable as the weather. Bah! Ah well, this too shall pass.
In other news, Martha's fawn looks very happy and healthy even in this weather. Yesterday (s)he was lying with her mother who stood up as I approached. The fawn took this as an invitation for lunch and (very forcefully) began nursing. (S)he is doing fine. Daisy is still extremely pregnant, I just hope that she did not choose last night to have her babies because the cold rain is not good for a newborn fawn. She has lost fawn to rain before. She looks VERY pregnant though, I wonder if she will have twins. Maybe. I still need to think of names for them though.
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