Leaving reality

I am so not sure why i am blogging this. I went out on friday night with someone i have a lot of fun with. We stayed out past the point of logical thinking and Silly took over. In retrospect I am not sure if I am glad that happened or not. I truely don't think I want involvement with anyone at this point, yet I did really have a lot of fun. Rationalising that it was just friendly sort of fun is not working very well. I think part of me is angry at the rest of me for not going home when I could have. I think part of me is shocked that I let my self have as much fun as I did. I think part of me wishes that I hadn't gone at all. Part of me wants to continue having fun and taking fun where ever I can find it. Part of me wants this to be something more than fun. Part of me is shocked that I just typed that. Most of me is shocked that I am blogging this here. Most of me is what the hell am I doing. And I just don't know which part of me to listen to. Somehow I think this is a bad idea all around but that won't shut up the parts that just like to have fun. feh