busy weekend

Some old friends are coming to visit this weekend. I am really excited but also kind of stressed as well. For the past several years I haven't really known what to say to them. We don't have very much in common, or we didn't when we were in school. Or maybe I just thought we didn't. Either way, I have become kind of on my guard when I am with them. I feel like I will say something or do something to make them realize that I am not the kid they remember playing with every day. That we only see each other a couple times a year and don't really have much contact inbetween visits. Again that is mostly my fault. I am really bad at thinking of things to say when I haven't talked to someone for a long time. I figure nothing I have done is particularly interesting. This time though, I am determined to be a normal person. I have been trying to think of things to say. I am going to bring my favorite ice breaking game, Apples to Apples. Hopefully the little part of my brain that actually has self esteem will come out and I might be able to talk to my friends again. Sad that I have to trick myself into talking to someone I think of as a sister.